Archive for August, 2007


i guess i AM the marrying kind…


‘Til death do you part…

To most people that might be a line from the clenching scene of your favorite romantic comedy or action thriller. For me, it means the sealing of the eternal relationship “deal”. Having a pastor for a father meant that wedding ceremonies were nothing too extra-ordinary for me. Sweet? Sure. Drawn Out? Definitely. But routine nonetheless.

This weekend, however, everything I thought I knew about weddings was wrenched upside down.

On August 18th, 2007…in a lovely meadow in Griffith Woods, I – Carnelius Quinn – joined two souls in holy matrimony…most likely galvanizing my already sturdy path towards damnation. The funny thing is, it went great…and was one of the most inspiring, honest, and loving weddings I had ever attended.

When the idea of the weddings approached, i joked around about performing the non-denominational ceremony for my Jesus-ly challenged friends. I mean, I am an actor. I have witnessed dad perform a few, and being gay made the non-denominational appeal even more interesting. “Sure thing.”

But as the date neared, and the bride to be mailed me several links to online ordination sites, I could see this was actually going to happen. Through research of various speeches, from various religions, and various time periods…I began to get excited. Then of course nervous. Then of course realistic – that I had no clue what I was doing on possibly the most important day of my friends’ lives.

But as I arrived in wedding rehearsal mayhem and beer…I found that no one had a clue. I mean, we all knew what we were doing, and what we were supposed to do. But no one knew what they were doing.

Between bridesmaids and flowers and dresses and cake and wine and decorations and practice…at least the nervous folk in the party had little time to stress. And even that was spent doing a good amount of catch up and intoxicating…

And then there was waking up with the smell of hangover breath, to realize that I had to shake out of party mode and into matrimony-mode. Fortunately, I had my journal with me to keep my notes in. Unfortunately, there is a large penis shaped Planned Parenthood sticker on the front cover which slipped my notice until I started greeting family members.

As the flowers arrive, the groomsmen test out their flaks gifts, the groom keeps it cool, and the guests wobble down the natural landscape – I realize that this is really for real. This is a gathering of the closest people in my friends’ lives for the sole purpose of celebrating their commitment to each other.

I have trouble even celebrating my own commitments – let alone keeping them.

And I began to think, “What right do I have to be here? Who am I to marry these people? Am I sinning? Will their marriage fail because I didn’t usher them into it right?” – But you must remember who I am, and my desperate need of chill pills.

So the bride is in place – the guests are seated – the music softly playing – the video camera on – the groom and I standing as the wedding party marches towards us. And its happening. Lights. Camera. Couple.

I did alright, noting my script of breathing marks, highlighted words, and dramatic pauses. I’m a motor mouth…I would have been a shitty friend, and Las Vegas minister had I been too quick draw about it, ya know? So I tried to play it cool…though my body and nerves betrayed me every step of the way…with my fear rushing out through my now pulsating cheek. But I kept going, and stayed solid. And considering how nervous the bride was…I’m pretty sure none noticed my random twitch but me.

After the ceremony we descended into drunken madness with family and friends. Tons of toasts, babies running in circles, dancing, laughing, stripping, and eating. All good times that I am very surprised I can remember considering how “religiously” i drank.

But we survived, and I have two new married friends and a new hope for marriage and its possible simplicity. I felt bad that there wasn’t a big ceremonious “to-do” for my friends. But then I realized that they’ll be together for a very long time. So simple was probably a good thing…

No need for them to peak in their beginning, right?



August 2007
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