Archive for October, 2009

16
Oct
09

Ignorance or Bliss?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s helpful to pay attention.  To care about the underlying needs or ideas behind people’s behavior.   All it seems to give me is grief.

I’ll admit that it’s sad to realize that I’ve gone this long without paying genuine attention to my surroundings.  But have you seen my surroundings?  You wouldn’t pay attention either.  It seems like not paying attention would get me more money, better friends, and a satisfying relationship.   It seems like not paying attention would allow me to blend in with colleagues and acheive just as much

It sucks to want to feel progressive and be surrounded by backwards-ass thinking.    I’ve been trying to read more seriously  lately, to really follow the news, to keep an informed opinion, and not stay in my tunnel.  But it seems that I’m too far ahead of the stupid people curve, but just far enough behind the iPhone brainiacs to find a home.  I can hold my own in a conversation, sure.  But it always seems like the 3 cool stats I memorize a week are never useful at the parties I’m going to.  

Am I going to the wrong parties or amd I learning the wrong facts?   From cultural awareness, to cultural competence, to cultural humility – I am trying to assert myself in the world just as I am realizing that I do not know as much as I thought I did about it.  And I think that’s the exciting part of the journey; realizing that I am on one.  It allows me to find strength and comfort in my struggle. 

But as I learn to connect the past to the present, my actions to the actions of others, my choices, my secrets, my relationships, my dedication, my follow through, my integrity, my purpose, my worth, my intentions, my people – it all makes sense.   And I realize I always knew what I know, I just didn’t know it until I wanted to learn.  Something is being shaped.  My character and presence and potential is actualizing as I learn about the world.  Because for once, I can make an educated guess about where I fit into it.   And from there I can assess what I need to do, what I want to do, and what I can envision as a future.

I just want to be able to bring empowerment out of the house with me beyond my job scope.  There was a time when people did the work that many people in the Social Service sector do for free.  But now economics and cultures of scarcity make it “less beneficial” to involve yourself in social change.  I do belive people should be rewarded for their efforts, but we are facing an uphill battle on so many fronts, that watiting is not a feasible option.  What good is that knowledge if I don’t contribute to my community and share it?   Community organizers are facilitators and support systems.  Translators and orators being stories from the past to shape the course of the future.

I can’t wait until I feel I’ve “gotten smart enough” to pay attention.    Hopefully, I’ll always be smarter tomorrow than I was yesterday.